December 25, 2010

What I heard today makes the fact that I don't want to do Christmas any more acceptable to me.

It used to be a Pagan holiday, not bad in my idea, it was to celebrate Winter Soltice. Then the Christians saw it was such a money maker they took it over, well always about money. NOW I haven't gone to the internet to search this out, for one thing today I am being lazy and for another there is so much information out there that I would get lost in the search. So if you want to know go look but because this is called Whats on Klancee's mind I am just sharing what I heard.

In a group of 20 people this morning, there was only one that spoke of likeing christmas, the others who spoke, talked about the feeling they have had over the years and what it has finally come to. Well not having to celebrate it at all makes me happy, I am having dinner with my sister Jackie, and her husband Mel, and my husband, Eric, that will probably be celebration enough. Wnd the meeting this morning was good.

Out of the group there was more supposrt of me and not feeling responsable to have to comercialize the day than I expected, I knew it was a bad holiday for most of us but the way I heard people talk and the different views gave me more thought.

Now when I was a child and when christmas would come around when santa was to be on the roof, my dad would run out and shoot in the air and saying he was shooting santa. It probably scared us children to death and gave us a misguided memory of my dad. To think he would kill santa, my god, how could we as children know that he wasn't, we thought santa was real. so killing him would be murder. He thought it was funny and as we got older and understood there was no santa it might have got funny but memory of our childhood feelings colored how I always felt at christmas. maybe.

But as I got older christmas did take on a different feeling, one the comercialism and the expetations made me so angry, I have never thought I was a good gift giver. so always felt less than, I felt like I didn't do enough so I would do more. Go in debt.

Today I have a new idea and plan to find a new way at looking at christmas or the 25 of December.

Other wise I am happy, love love live live, laugh and laugh and laugh.

Bah Humbug

OK for years I have threatened to not do anything for Christmas, this year I decided it was the year to do it.

When I was growing up we used to have fun Christmas's, as kids it was always wonderful to get up and see what Santa brought us. I wonder how fun it was for our parents though. (short story about one of our Christmas at bottom)

Santa, who is this man, this bigger than life hero that promises all that wonderful stuff we want, we want larger amounts of things and what happens when we don't get it, what a let down. More kids cry over what they didn't get than are happy with what they did get, I bet. As kids we were lied to about who Santa was, NEWS FLASH THERE IS NO SANTA, oh no where did all this lying come from for our kids, who invented Santa clause any way. Guess I will go look that up.

OK I went and looked it up, there are two web sites you can go to to see what I read. But to carry on from here and why I am who I am at Christmas is this. (more continued after the websites.

http://www.santasuitexpress.com/santa-claus-history.html?c1=sse&source=google&kw=santahistory

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus

Where as adults does it become OK to lie to our children just for the sake of being ablt to by them things they don't need, us things we don't need and perpetrating a holiday tradition that only the stores get rich and richer and the manufactureers just make things cheaper and cheaper and huge amounts of it just to satisfy our children, who aren't satisfied. I went shopping and the things I saw were absoluteldy horrindous, there wasn't anything worth what we paid good money for. And it wont last a year I will almost bet anyone of you. The comercialism of Christmas a MAN made holiday so they can create an atmasphere of jolly do gooding.

Well we would all be better off doing something that is good for us, NOT over spending for stuff that is not needed and most of the time seriously stressed out over.

Here is my thinking, we go shopping I stress out so much because the truth is I am a horrible gift giver, I never seem to find the right gift, I don't have the knack to be able to see something and match it to a person, and we don't like it, but WE do it, IT IS EXPECTED, no one wants to say that, but well we all know it is. We are stressed out over what to buy, we spend hours shopping, then we get home and wrap it, then we have to package it and send it, those are the only two things I think is fun I love to wrap a gift. I am good at wrapping a gift, I can do all sorts of nice things with wrapping, Sending it isn't so much fun but it is a relief to have it on its way and done for another year. whew.

The gift arrives at it destination, you wait for christmas and then are all excited about opening it and just can't wait to see what it is. You tear the gift wrap off and see what it is, you want to tear your hair out bawl your eyes out, God what am I going to do with this, I hate it, it wont go with anything you have, doesn't fit your decorn or your body, now you wonder who was that person who sent this to you shopping for, my god they don't even know who I am if they think I will like this.

Now I have to do something with it, OH can I regift it, (how long do I have to hang on to it before I can regift it?) what will the people I am regifting it to think. Will they like it, oh, white elephants good. No I better keep it Mom and Dad, sister, friend, will ask about it. So I will need to display it somewhere so they can see we use it and like it. UGH are you kidding me, for how long do I have to do that.

So, I am thinking I am stressed out buying it for you, you are stressed out getting it and trying to like it and worrying about hurting our feelings. All this emotion is just wasted. No gifts mean NO stress.

I hate those parts of Christmas. BUT--- there is a bigger part, the truth about Christmas, It was a celebration of Jesus Christs birth, HOW many people who are celebrating Christmas today even know the truth about Christmas, who really celebrate Jesus's birth, and how about all the athiest, WHO I know still celebratte Christmas because its fun for our kids, and our kids don't understand. Other religions who celebrate Christmas because they want to celebrate the fun, or join the spouse.

SO BAH HUMBUG, If you like or love Christmas I am thrilled for you, I know I am missing something, all that excitement, I just can't feel it, I feel sick to my stomach, and feel less than normal and give myself a hard time, so hence NO more Christmas.

I love you all and Merry Christmas to you and glad to get any gifts you give, but wait till your birthday and I hope I remember to get you something. I do love the lights.

One year Mom and Dad went out shopping and left Derryll, Orina and I home, me in charge I was the oldest, Derryll was on the phone to her boyfriend and I was expecting a call from mine. I kept telling her she had to get off and she didn't, so I reached for the reciever to hang it up and she clobbered me over the nose with the handset. Broke my nose, blood was going everywhere, we were of course by this time scared and not knowing what to do, somebody went next door to the neighbors and got them, they took me to the hospital, and when mom and dad got home Derryll had to tell them where I was and they came down. They threatened to take our gifts back, and well they should have. But how much fun can a Christmas be with that kind of a hospital bill to pay. I didn't even think twice about the bill, I did think about the two black eyes alot and didn't want to go to school, oh to bad dad says you don't get to play hookie for this.

So thats it for this one. Happy days are here again.