What has happened in 2015

"September 2015" I just do not get here enough, sorry if you follow me and want new writing I am getting where life sometimes is just not important enough to write about. When I find myself doing the same thing over and over again and nothing really happens then there isn't a lot to write about. I wrote about my eye surgery and now after over two years I am adjusting and accepting it. The big anxiety was that it was new and different, and getting used to it was a scary thing. I have now got used to it so that is enough on that. I went to Oregon to Lincoln City because I thought I wanted to live there, I was there 3 1/2 month in my motorhome and did a lot of things I loved doing and even on rainy days in my MH I wasn't bummed out because the ocean was just a mile away. I absolutely loved the place and would love to live there IF it wasn't so wet and the mildew and mold didn't cause me health problems and if there were not fleas on my cats OH that was an experience, and trying to deal with them naturally without the chemical flea and tick medicine took a long time after I got home. I think they may still have one or two but they are not biting me now. I loved being close to my family and I did run up to Hood River and visited Derryll and I went into Albany three times and could have done more, but didn't. I really thought that I would feel more like more visits to them but it was only a little while, if I lived there it would be so convenient to just visit more. But I do love living close to my son and granddaughter and grandsons by Maria. Now with the great grandbabies it is great. In Reno I have my family. James and Maria, (Melissa and Trevor), (George and Angie, Benjamin, Jessimae) and (Aldo, Irene, Davina), Family is fun. Chris and Laura, Eric's son and girlfriend. I have my AA meetings and friends. Live is good. I am in Utah visiting Eric right now and will be here two more weeks. While here in Roosevelt my cat Skoshi got attacked by a large predator and I don't know what it was. This is the second cat that this has happened to of mine, the other one was precious or gray kitty and it was in Mt. Home at our other place. On a lighter note here it is good to visit with some friends while here. BUT to just show how it is with the living here I have not been contacted by any of the upper country people to visit and in the same thought I have not contacted any of them either. What I wonder does that say about me or them, or my living here at all. I think I am just too old and tired of constant need for approval and friendship. or am I just too depressed to try. OK that is my thought for now later to you who are reading this, and thanks for any thoughts or comments you wish to leave.

UPDATE ON MY EYE SURGERY AND MY PROBLEM WITH IT.

Now two years later I am doing so much better. I still have a problem but it is difficult to even articulate. So I just don't even try. If I had it to do again and I knew for a fact this is what my eyes were going to be like would I have done it when i did. NO. my old sight was pretty good yet, I may not have had to really do them for a few more years, BUT they are done and I am glad that I am finally getting used to them. I have NO advice on what other people should do, but I would not have them done with two different eye sight I would have gone for the farsighted and used glasses for up close. I had to get glasses for very nearsighted because I could not read the small print and still cannot without my glasses for that, for one thing you can't buy the cheater glasses in two different eye prescriptions, so I had to buy some and that is costly. Hi well if any of you have read the earlier posts about my eye surgery cataracts, I will update you about the fact that a lot of the problem that I was having and didn't know was an allergy. Who knew that I am allergic to my cats dandruff. I got allergy drops and wala my eyes are better. Another thing that was a huge problem with my eye surgery was also ANXIETY, the fact that we did my eyes in two different things one was nearsighted and one was for sighted. and that sent a lot of my fear into high gear, fear I wouldn't get used to it and ti was so different. Now I am still not sure how I feel with the fact that I got one eye for nearsightedness and one for farsightedness. It sure comes in handy a lot of the time. I did buy glasses for extreme near seeing because I could not read any small print. I also got a pair for just for long distance, when I am driving at night they work great. I don't get any of the star burst that happens to some people. So I suppose is really thinking about it they have turned out to be good. Getting used to the new different way of living gave me anxiety, fear. But I am doing well with the eyes now.

MY TRIP TO OREGON COAST 2015

I decided I wanted to go spend a few months at the Oregon coast. I had my sister Derryll fly to Reno so she could drive my car up and I would drive my motorhome. We arrived in Lincoln City on the 19th of March 2015, I got set up in Devils Lake RV Park. We left Reno on the 16th and spent the first night at Klamath Lake, just at the SouthEast side there is a wide turn out and each time I go I stay there the night before going on into Medford. I stay there after the long drive from Reno to there so that when I get up and go on into Medford to Chuck and Billie's it is a new day, It is only one hour out of Medford and I could make it but decide not to do so because I am tired and getting there late in the day would be to much visiting and I wouldn't be rested. I know that if I stay I am more relaxed when I get to their place. We spent the night of the 17th and C and B's then left and went on up I 5 to Albany and stayed at Jackie's the night of the 18th and arrived in LC on the 19th. It took me a week to feel in the spirit to go to my first AA meeting and found one I now call my home group here in LC. I go down to Newport which is 25 miles away on Wednesday at noon for the women's group there that I started attending in 2008 when I ran away from Utah. An earlier story that I will need to blog about. I go to the beach and walk barefoot as far as I can go and then walk back Set on a bench by the seaside. I found a great spot after three weeks that is an easy access to the beach without walking for a long way to get to the edge of the water. Bob McKennon wayside just between 35 and 36s on Jetty ST. There is a sail jellyfish called velella velella – or “purple sails.” that is washed up and it totally stinks. But now after 4 weeks it is getting better. http://www.beachconnection.net/news/purplepile041215_645.php, I have seen seals, whales and other wildlife swimming just off shore there. Unfortunately I am going to have to cut my trip short because of a problem with my MCS that I self sabotaged.( I did laundry in the laundromat at the park and the detergents and dryer sheets got into my cloths and now won't wash out). I get so angry about this but well there it is I can't do anything about what is happening to me if I can't think straight. And when I get poisoned by the chemicals I can't think. You can go to my blog on MCS for more information on this. http://livingwithmcschemicalsensitivity.blogspot.com/ So I am thinking that I will leave the RV park with my motorhome on May 31st or the morning of June first. My brother Chuck and his wife are coming to Lincoln City to visit with their kids and grandchildren on June 12 and I have asked Chuck if he could drive my car back to his place and I would meet them there. That is not what happened their plans changed, so I found a new way. my niece and nephew came over for a weekend and took my car back to Alny I drove home and then flew up and got my car. I will leave here and drive down the coast and stay at different places on the ocean that I can find so that I get more time on it and when I get to Gold Beach I will spend a few days parked out by Pistol River turnout. I love this spot because it is wide enough to pull out and just park there and not have to pay a nightly rent. I also want to stay in Crescent City and walk the Beach there because I find sand dollars there. I also find sand dollars at Pistol River. I wish I could buy a home here on the ocean, it doesn't matter where just on the ocean. I love it here and the only reason I will be going back to Sun Valley where I own a house is because I own a house there my son lives there with his family and my granddaughter and her husband are there and Maria my daughter-in-law has her two boys there with their children, James my son, Maria, my daughter in lay, Melissa my granddaughter, George (Jorge) and Angie and their children Benjamin and Jesse Mae, and Aldo and his girlfriend Irene and their baby Davina. I made the mistake of moving to Reno when I was 27 because I was running away from my family and a guy I broke up with and was just irritable restless and discontent. Another story, maybe I will get to all my stories at some time. There are so many.

I want to live in the SOLUTION, the world has a PROBLEM.

Hello Bloggers who fall into this BLOG, don't know if anyone even see's it, but today I need to talk about my sensitivities. I think they may be allergies but the DRs say no just sensitivities. I have many time talked about this very same thing and only wish I didn't feel the need to keep blogging about it. But when it makes me sick daily I need to vent it away. Body washes, Shampoos, cream rinses, lotion, face creams, perfume, deodorant, these are just some of the ones we put on our body, THEN there are the ones we ingest through our lungs, cleaning products, room deodorizers, candles, plug ins, scented sprays canned scented sprays. Laundry soaps fabric softeners, dryer sheets, fabreeze, EVERYTHING that is scented. Where does cancer, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome,and Many others, Many others. . My thinking is it comes from all the poisonous chemicals that we put into our bodies. Day after day of the use of these chemicals put into our body unknowingly, thinking we are just cleaning our bodies, hair, and making ourselves smell nice. I went to a hair dresser last Wednesday (Feb, 11, 2013) to get my hair cut. She used a shampoo on my that actually poisoned me for 4 days. I felt like I had my hair washed in pesticides. My scalp actually felt poisoned. It soaked into my head and brain and cause me to be physically sick and with a headache that lasted 3 days. When these things happen to me it is so physically disabling that I want to be gone, Gone sometimes means I think of suicide, knowing today that is not an option. (when I was a practicing alcoholic I found this a viable option). I went with a friend on Saturday the 16th to Lake Havasu, to a group of women who get together to have a Spiritual meeting. In the group there were five other women and all of them had something on that had a scent. I have read that every person when they get up and start with a shower that they put on ten different scents, I know for a fact that happens and people don't even realize that they are poisoning themselves and ever body else around them. My lungs burned from something that was in the room. BUT here it is SUNDAY and I still have the smell of one of the womens perfume in my lungs and sinus' I can't get the smell out of my body. So I am blogging about it today hoping that someone will read this and take NOTICE of it and think maybe they could be part of the solution rather than part of the problem. Try to clean thier houses and bodies of all these chemical solutions. Inside outside everywhere you go. Today I put on a pair of shoes I bought on EBAY two weeks ago. When I received them they had been sprayed with FABREEZE, I think but definitely sprayed with something, and wow it was stron, so I put them in a solution of my laundry soap and soaked them for a while. and put them in the sun to dry for days, now I mean days like 10 or more. I put them on this morning and imidiatly had to take them off within five minutes I could taste the fabreeze and got a headache. UGH I hate this. But well I put them on facebook for sale, but am soaking them again and hoping that it will go away. FABREEZE is horrible.

GOING ON MY MERRY WAY

Life on the inside does anyone know WHO they are REALLY???? I am crazy to me, you look at me and talk to me and I may seem NORMAL but well WHAT is NORMAL? When I get up in the morning, my feet it the floor, if I am lucky I remember to PRAY. I love to pray and talk to GOD. But well my mind doesn't always remember. AND then there are the mornings when I wake up and am ANGRY AT GOD. My life isn't always a sweet bed of rose, bowl of cherries, Life of a dream sweetheart. Sometimes my life is MISERABLE. AND I don't help it. Last nnight I had a dinner at my house and had my granddaughter, son and grandson in law over, Orina is staying with me. Melissa showed up early and we were all so excited, she had brought her new notebook and camera and was showing it to us. The minute she walked in the door, I knew I was in trouble. TROUBLE capatalized. She always has a perfume smell and is always strong BUT this time it was the worst she had ever been. NOW IT MAY SMELL GOOD TO YOU, BUT IT IS POISON TO ME. It is not just one symptom it is a lot of things. It hits my head gives me a headache, then it gives me a stabbing pain in my head that goes along with the overall headache. Then it hits my nerves, and then my muscles, my throat, and then my lungs, breathing this is like jumping into a swimming pool filled with poison. There is no getting away from it. AND I am not alergic to this it is reaction to all chemicals that are in scented products. SCENTED, is the key word, and if it is UN-SCENTED that means it has had scents in it and it has been removed,!!!!! IF it is FREE AND CLEAR it has never had the scent in it. James also had an odor on. I can't ever define them they are just plain poison to me. I LOVE THESE PEOPLE, I MEAN IT I LOVE YOU ALL, SO MUCH THAT I CRY BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME SICK. AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I try to tell you how I get sick and I know you want to beleive me but you don't take it seriously enough. I CAN ONLY HOPE IT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO YOU. I CAN ONLY PRAY IT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO YOU. THEN SOMETIMES I WISH IT WOULD SO E ME. BELIEVE ME, I DON'T WISH THIS PROBLEM ON ANYONE.

You might call it perfume but it is POISON TO ME!!!

I LOVE TO BE WITH PEOPLE........BUT............PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK........... This is what an average person does in the morning to get ready for work or their day. Now take a household of 2, 3, 4, or more. Wake up, coffee breakfast, normal morning routine. They wash or rinse their dishes in a soap that is (scented). Then they, Take a shower, IN: Bath soap, gel or any other form the cleansing agent comes in, sometimes more than one of these.. (scented) Shampoo their hair. (Scented). Cream rinse probably another (scented). Shave their legs, IN (scented). Shaving cream or lotion, (scented). After shave lotion or astringent. (scented). Deodorant (scented). Put on body lotion. (scented). Face cream. ( scented). Perfume, of course (scented). Cologne of course (scented). Hand lotion, hand sanitizer, sprays to help what ever is in the air.. (Scented). Now lets talk about what else is in the house. Laundry soap, (scented). Dryer sheets, (scented). Dish soap and dishwasher soap, (scented). Carpet cleaners or little scented powders or something to put in the vacuum cleaner TO make the air fresh. Bug bombs, sprays, etc. The average person has in their home, potpourri, candles, incense sticks, plug ins, For deodorizing or to make their home smell good.. Then they may have pets that they use things on. Kitty litter scented to smell good for you and your pet. Taste it just a little kernel, clean of course, but see what it does to you, I have and it made me sick, but well everything makes me sick.

SUMMER IS COMING YEA, YEA, REUNION TIME 2012

✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ IT COMING TO MARCH, I am leaving Reno soon and going to Medford to stay with Chuck and Billie, Darcy and Cody. Really looking forward to my time with them. My plan is to stay in Medford for a couple of weeks and then I am heading over to Gold Beach to enjoy that beautiful Oregon coast. Slowly after Gold Beach I am going to be climbing up the coast line. Till July Lincoln City, to OUR FAMILY REUNION, DEXTER 2012. ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ Life is great if I stay out of my way. ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩ ❤ ✩

Masquerade

There is nothing sane about this insane scrambling of my brain with drugs. (medication for bipolar)...... How is it so effortless, and hauntingly simple for my friends, family, and my husband to be so perfectly consistent? Everyday, they're the same. Everyday, I can rely on their usual personality, their typical reactions, and a rarely changing smile... I apologize in advance for this unwarranted and undeserved outburst- but SCREW THEM! IT'S NOT FAIR. I crave to be part of this population that has a natural, and unconscious ability to just be themselves on a day to day basis. I have spent years quietly resenting- no- obsessing, over mentally sound people. It is a seriously perplexing, and unattainable desire.
(Sept, 2015) I had gone totally off all meds in 2013 and thought I was doing very well, but in Jan of 2015 I again found myself searching for a psychiatrist counselor or a therapist, falling through the cracks because I couldn't find one my insurance would help pay for. so I went to my MD dr, we discussed the problem and decided to put me on depakote and after four months and gaining 20 lbs I tried to go off and the withdrawals were worse than the cymbalta or at least comparable. Took me two months to go off of it. I did now I hope that I can control and live without anything.
Besides my usual and unrelenting crookedness, I feel... well, fake. For years I've tried to imitate the consistency that I've observed in the friends I've become so envious of - and my results? Its exhausting, depressing, and hopelessly circuitous. The energy it takes to appear like a normal member of society only fuels my efforts for so long. It usually backfires, and I end up exploding craziness on whoever is nearest to me anyway. Its painful pretending to be okay when I'm so obviously not. Sometimes, my forced laughter makes me feel like I'm being engulfed in flames, and I end up genuinely crying instead. But, being a woman that admittedly craves social acceptance, I feel the need to wear a mask. I overcompensate for my weird and exaggerated socially inept awkwardness by intentionally being overly friendly, and outgoing. For years, this was almost traumatizing. I breached my own comfort zones so no one could see behind this mask. I think I lost myself.

A very scary thing happened to me

I bought a cantalope and washed it and cleaned it. While I was eating it I got a really strong aftertaste, I didn't listen to what my brain was trying to tell me, so I kept eating it the cantalope tasted very good, but with a strong nasty after taste. the taste was the smell or feeling you get after using one of these products if you get it on your skin or it blows in your mouth, pesticide herbacide or insecticide, Which by the way all have cide in them, like homicide, suicide, its all murder or death.

But about a half hour later my body started experiencing physical aches and pains, muscle ache and three hours later I was almost bed ridden, in fact I just went to bed and stayed there because I had no strength to do anything and was very sick to my stomach and I had a headache.

I thought about it while in bed and decided that it was the poisons that had been used on the cantalope or in the ground where the cantalope grew. I wish I had kept the name of the farm and contacted them but I didn't.
I think it was Jensen Farms out of Colorado.
I spent three days in bed, achy sick and unable to get the energy to get up, and without the energy I have no will to get up.

There are just not enough organic food out there to be safe.

so I am now careful when buying and eating things if they have an aftertase I don't eat them. whish there was a way to re-coup the money but there isn't. And we just have to eat that also.

I don't know what the answer is going to be for me because so much affects, but I keep searching for answers, because I know I can't keep on living with the reactions to so much of the world around me.

Poisons in our Food.

Have you ever noticed that the more intelegent a human is the more they think they wont listen to maybe some good information. Information that may help them and may not. But if you listen after you have made the person next to you in line (at a grocery store, bank line, DR.'s office. HOSPITAL), I have written in my blog how scents, perfumes chemicals, deoderizers, plug in scent dispensers. Dryer sheets. All affect me. Eiter by hitting my nervouse system or giving me head aches, muscle aches, totally sending me to bed.

AND I GET TIRED OF COMlPAING, but how are people going to get the message if someone doesn't bring it to their attention.

Meaning, I am not a stupid person BUT again I am no Einstien either, and I have figured out that the and improved products are making me sick, and probably YOU too. But the human race doesn't beleive it can happen to them, NO NOT ME syndrome.

There is a new chemical that they are using now that affects me immidiatly, causing symptoms that range from all of the above and some I haven't listed but affect me physically.

I bought a cantalope the other day and washed it good before I cut into it, while eating it I got an after tase but the cantalope tasted so good I kept eating it. Within an hour I could feel the poisoning in my body. I had muscle aches and my nerves felt like they were on fire and I hurt everywhere. I was in bed for two days. NOW two days, what if a young child had eaten it and there must have been other people who bought the same companys catalopes.

This is just an example, I get sick from a lot of things like this. I know you are saying "I don't have any trouble with this". My husband says it all the time. BUT I also know he has troubles physically and calls it Fibromalgia. they are so many Auto-Immune disease that they can't figre out where they came from. But hey LETS look at our food industry.

YEA, I grew up with the DDT and it was banned WHY do you suppose. Well I am not an einstien but I am not stupid either and if they keep lieing to us and poisoning us and selling us all this stuff that is safe for the inviroment, then they are killing US (Americans). We are causing our own health problems and how can the drs keep up with knowing where diseases are coming from. We are our own worst enemy. We are eating (me too) what they let the food industry put on the market and we are buying all the products they advertize on TV because of the advertizement, We need to think of the harm it is causing us. ESPECIALLLY our babies. our younger generations. Lets start watching this and being concious of what we buy. (DRYER SHEETS, FABREEZE) these are poisonious. Shampoos, cream rinses, under arm doederant. dish soap, laundry soaps. everything out there that is chemically altered to smell good is poison. Check out the chemicals, go on line and see for your self. DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

December 25, 2010

What I heard today makes the fact that I don't want to do Christmas any more acceptable to me.

It used to be a Pagan holiday, not bad in my idea, it was to celebrate Winter Soltice. Then the Christians saw it was such a money maker they took it over, well always about money. NOW I haven't gone to the internet to search this out, for one thing today I am being lazy and for another there is so much information out there that I would get lost in the search. So if you want to know go look but because this is called Whats on Klancee's mind I am just sharing what I heard.

In a group of 20 people this morning, there was only one that spoke of likeing christmas, the others who spoke, talked about the feeling they have had over the years and what it has finally come to. Well not having to celebrate it at all makes me happy, I am having dinner with my sister Jackie, and her husband Mel, and my husband, Eric, that will probably be celebration enough. Wnd the meeting this morning was good.

Out of the group there was more supposrt of me and not feeling responsable to have to comercialize the day than I expected, I knew it was a bad holiday for most of us but the way I heard people talk and the different views gave me more thought.

Now when I was a child and when christmas would come around when santa was to be on the roof, my dad would run out and shoot in the air and saying he was shooting santa. It probably scared us children to death and gave us a misguided memory of my dad. To think he would kill santa, my god, how could we as children know that he wasn't, we thought santa was real. so killing him would be murder. He thought it was funny and as we got older and understood there was no santa it might have got funny but memory of our childhood feelings colored how I always felt at christmas. maybe.

But as I got older christmas did take on a different feeling, one the comercialism and the expetations made me so angry, I have never thought I was a good gift giver. so always felt less than, I felt like I didn't do enough so I would do more. Go in debt.

Today I have a new idea and plan to find a new way at looking at christmas or the 25 of December.

Other wise I am happy, love love live live, laugh and laugh and laugh.

Bah Humbug

OK for years I have threatened to not do anything for Christmas, this year I decided it was the year to do it.

When I was growing up we used to have fun Christmas's, as kids it was always wonderful to get up and see what Santa brought us. I wonder how fun it was for our parents though. (short story about one of our Christmas at bottom)

Santa, who is this man, this bigger than life hero that promises all that wonderful stuff we want, we want larger amounts of things and what happens when we don't get it, what a let down. More kids cry over what they didn't get than are happy with what they did get, I bet. As kids we were lied to about who Santa was, NEWS FLASH THERE IS NO SANTA, oh no where did all this lying come from for our kids, who invented Santa clause any way. Guess I will go look that up.

OK I went and looked it up, there are two web sites you can go to to see what I read. But to carry on from here and why I am who I am at Christmas is this. (more continued after the websites.

http://www.santasuitexpress.com/santa-claus-history.html?c1=sse&source=google&kw=santahistory

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus

Where as adults does it become OK to lie to our children just for the sake of being ablt to by them things they don't need, us things we don't need and perpetrating a holiday tradition that only the stores get rich and richer and the manufactureers just make things cheaper and cheaper and huge amounts of it just to satisfy our children, who aren't satisfied. I went shopping and the things I saw were absoluteldy horrindous, there wasn't anything worth what we paid good money for. And it wont last a year I will almost bet anyone of you. The comercialism of Christmas a MAN made holiday so they can create an atmasphere of jolly do gooding.

Well we would all be better off doing something that is good for us, NOT over spending for stuff that is not needed and most of the time seriously stressed out over.

Here is my thinking, we go shopping I stress out so much because the truth is I am a horrible gift giver, I never seem to find the right gift, I don't have the knack to be able to see something and match it to a person, and we don't like it, but WE do it, IT IS EXPECTED, no one wants to say that, but well we all know it is. We are stressed out over what to buy, we spend hours shopping, then we get home and wrap it, then we have to package it and send it, those are the only two things I think is fun I love to wrap a gift. I am good at wrapping a gift, I can do all sorts of nice things with wrapping, Sending it isn't so much fun but it is a relief to have it on its way and done for another year. whew.

The gift arrives at it destination, you wait for christmas and then are all excited about opening it and just can't wait to see what it is. You tear the gift wrap off and see what it is, you want to tear your hair out bawl your eyes out, God what am I going to do with this, I hate it, it wont go with anything you have, doesn't fit your decorn or your body, now you wonder who was that person who sent this to you shopping for, my god they don't even know who I am if they think I will like this.

Now I have to do something with it, OH can I regift it, (how long do I have to hang on to it before I can regift it?) what will the people I am regifting it to think. Will they like it, oh, white elephants good. No I better keep it Mom and Dad, sister, friend, will ask about it. So I will need to display it somewhere so they can see we use it and like it. UGH are you kidding me, for how long do I have to do that.

So, I am thinking I am stressed out buying it for you, you are stressed out getting it and trying to like it and worrying about hurting our feelings. All this emotion is just wasted. No gifts mean NO stress.

I hate those parts of Christmas. BUT--- there is a bigger part, the truth about Christmas, It was a celebration of Jesus Christs birth, HOW many people who are celebrating Christmas today even know the truth about Christmas, who really celebrate Jesus's birth, and how about all the athiest, WHO I know still celebratte Christmas because its fun for our kids, and our kids don't understand. Other religions who celebrate Christmas because they want to celebrate the fun, or join the spouse.

SO BAH HUMBUG, If you like or love Christmas I am thrilled for you, I know I am missing something, all that excitement, I just can't feel it, I feel sick to my stomach, and feel less than normal and give myself a hard time, so hence NO more Christmas.

I love you all and Merry Christmas to you and glad to get any gifts you give, but wait till your birthday and I hope I remember to get you something. I do love the lights.

One year Mom and Dad went out shopping and left Derryll, Orina and I home, me in charge I was the oldest, Derryll was on the phone to her boyfriend and I was expecting a call from mine. I kept telling her she had to get off and she didn't, so I reached for the reciever to hang it up and she clobbered me over the nose with the handset. Broke my nose, blood was going everywhere, we were of course by this time scared and not knowing what to do, somebody went next door to the neighbors and got them, they took me to the hospital, and when mom and dad got home Derryll had to tell them where I was and they came down. They threatened to take our gifts back, and well they should have. But how much fun can a Christmas be with that kind of a hospital bill to pay. I didn't even think twice about the bill, I did think about the two black eyes alot and didn't want to go to school, oh to bad dad says you don't get to play hookie for this.

So thats it for this one. Happy days are here again.

Just living it the way it falls

Life is so full right now and it
always is in the spring and summer.
I enjoy gardening and my yard work
till it gets ahead of me.


This summer well it was April, I
went back and spent two months with Eric in Utah and we really enjoyed each other, even though it was a stressfull visit Eric's brother Lynn was in the hospital for two months and we spent a lot of time in Provo.

Catching up on the yard work there took some time and we enjoyed working together on the projects we need to catch up on. Eric loves to work with his tractor so I get to do a lot of the dirty work on the ground. He did let me use the tractor this year so now I am officially a farmer, hahah. Beleave it or not it is so simple like I new it would be nothing like an 18 wheeler.

When I left Utah and came back to Reno to get ready for my trip to Oregon for the Dexter reunion that takes place every two years. I found my garden and yard so green and luchious. BUT it was all weeds the whole yard. How depressing to know that I could not do the work alone and I only had ten days before I had planned to go to the Oregon coast.

So I got very busy trying to catch up and blew my mind with worry. So I went the easier softer way, and I hate that I resorted to it but I did. I sprayed the weeds with roundup.

Now the reason I hate to do that IS poison of any kind hurts the enviroment, the wild life and filters to our water supply at some time. I have been seeing more and more birds that have birth defects and cats and dogs drinking the water are having birth defects.

Enough.

I had wanted to spend two weeks at the coast, I really love the area around Gold Beach. The Newport, Waldport area is another one where I wanted to stay and visit with people who i had met two years before.
I had great visits will all I was able to see.

I enjoyed the family reunion and went to Chuck and Billies before and to Jackie's and visited with Larry before heading on up to the reunion and stopped again at both afterwards and came on home to Reno. My sister Orina stopped in and spent a week with me before she went on down to fort Worth, Texas. It was a great visit and wish it could have been longer. Tried to talk her into moving here.

Then it was the first of August and of course it is Hot August Nights, the cars that were in the streets were as always really beautiful to see, Eric came and brought his Scamp, his daughter Dina flew over and his son Chris lives just up the street form me, Chris has a Nova. I will post some pictires.

What's on Klancee's Mind: Which are worse and how they affect me in the air

What's on Klancee's Mind: Which are worse and how they affect me in the air

Which are worse and how they affect me in the air

First I had to learn how and why things affected me. I knew that I was always getting headaches, being sick to my stomach, (which I blamed on other things, flue colds, etc) having body aches, sharp pains and foggy mind, runny nose, eyes, and sweating.



So over years of these things happening and me adding and removing to my diet, my environment and home, car, any where I was, in public and in others homes, hospitals, offices, or public buildings.



Paid attention to what was happening. I used to wear a lot of cologne and perfumes, because like everyone they smell good to each of us, we have our own preference to what we wear and what pleases us.



So first I learned what the symptoms were. I started paying attention to how I was feeling in the morning when I would get up. I would feel pretty good on getting up, in fact most days great. Because I didn't keep any of my perfumes or any scented candles or other chemicaly changed things near my bed.

But I noticed that when I would head into the rest room some of the smells would be strong some of them started to be offensive even. Through out the morning I started having different feelings come over me, so I started removing things from my home, deodorizers, the spray cans with those bouquet scents were one of the worst. In the beginning everything that came in a spray can, still is today but intensly worse.. The ones that puff scents into the air, scented candles had to go, and potpourie that was not natural, most of them are treated with fake scents that are chemically enhanced.

My symptoms would range from headaches, sore muscles, runny nose and eyes. Tension headaches that I always blamed on work or stress. I get sick to my stomach with odors that are way to sweet and flowery, with major headaches. I also blamed stress for the tension in my neck muscles.

So in time I have found that everything is poison to me.

Basically everything is made of chemicals that are man made. which ore always having the compounds changed for more effecincy. Not the case for me. If they new and improve something you can bet I wont be able to use it any mmore.

The biggest offenders are:

Colognes Mens/womens-- who wear it like they bathe in it. but cologne of any kind.

Spray cans of scented room deoderizers---All of them, Glade and all other room deoderizers.

Dryer sheets--especially the scented, but all of them even the unscented, it is chemically treated with silicone.

But here I am just going to say that everything gives me trouble if it is chemically filled.

I have no trouble with anything that is natural, I love flowers and would prefer the smell of clean body odor than scented perfumed things.

I use unscented products most of the time, but even there I have to be careful. because, some of them are still treated with some kind of chemical. I have bought unscented products and had to give them away, my son and his wife get my unused things.

Unfortunately I have to live in the world with everyone else. So, hence I am constantly being poisoned, the laundry isle in grocery stores are the worst, bad. But anyone wearing something in public will cause some kind of reaction for me. some are just small some are hard to be around.

Sometimes in my own home I am poisoned, friendss and family who visit who neglect to remember that I have trouble or think that just a little wont hurt, or just don't care. and even when they do un-be-knowenst to them that their under arm deoderant and hand lotion and hair spray and shampoo and cream rinse, all cause some kind of reaction. It isn't always the ones you think about its the ones you don't.

My husband tries, I guess, but the truth is he poisons me too, he loves to use certain kinds of soap and they are extremely offensive to me, I try to change them out but well he goes back, he doesn't have any trouble so actually why should he have to worry about it. Especially because I am not always in the house with him. Also its a huge pain to have to check everything you buy to make sure it is unscented.

A lot of people just say its not my problem so for the few minutes or the short period of time I am going to be around it shouldn't matter. They are right, why should they have to change their life and the way they do things and wear what they want to help me. I undeerstand. I really do.

BUT IF I LEAVE THE ROOM WHILE YOU ARE VISITING AND DON'T COME BACK YOU KNOW IT MADE ME SICK. I apologize for that and hope it didn't hurt your feelings. I have to monotor how sick it will make me for the day, it may be something that isn't going to affect me all day, those I don't worry about. I have also found a way to subvert some of the problem.

There are business and instatutions and public places I have to just be aware of or not frequient. Churches are the worst, not because of the religion, but because, everyone gets up in the morning takes a showe washes their hair, puts on lotion, hair spray, cologne and perfume and goes to church, its early in the day so none of it has had any time to wear off yet. so the church is just inundated with everyones smell, its like walking into a huge poisonous room. If I was going to go swimming and they had put a bottle of pesticides in the pool would you swim in it, no so I just have to be aware of where I am going and take precautions.

Whats in the air

Having headaches, sinus problems, skin rashes, red eye, runny nose , cramped, sore, tight neck muscles, and not being able to find out why, this may help you, have an open mind while reading this, it may be happeing to you.

I spent thousands of dollars on tests. With no answers, no one could give me an explanations why.

Over the last 20 years I have had to start looking at and taking responsibility in how I get these and how to work with them or alleviate them.

I have been getting sick over whats in the air for years and so with that handicap I have started learning about Whats in the air.

First we have to deal the the real things, and that is, the air, now I have no problem with the real air, clean air, country air, air in general I am not allergic to, or have a reaction to. The dirt that blows around, pollen, these things I don't have a problem with. Yes too much wind and dirt will give me a head ache and some plant pollens give me problems.

BUT: then its what we put into the air. I have found that I am allergic to, (my doctors call it a reaction to) different air pollutants.

I lived in a home with two parents that smoked at least one pack a day each, later years more. (Today I don't think either one could afford to smoke. Different subject, and I may blog on this later). And after going out on my own, the jobs I got were in public and that was when smoking was allowed, and I worked in the casinos and there is still smoking allowed in the casinos. I smoked a lot of cigarettes second hand, and I have never smoked.

I used to wear perfume, cologne, oils, toilet water, what ever I liked the smell of, and shampoo, cream rinses, hair spray, body soap, deoderant, hand lotion, body lotions. I did my dishes and my laundry in scented soaps and detergents, used scented dryer sheets, scented rinses. I used scented candles, scented room deoderizers, sprays to take the odor out, put odor in, in other words I used products that made the air different, smell different, change the chemical compound of the air.

AND over time and the use of these I have become very sensitive to all of them, allergic to all of them, I have a reaction to all of them.

Now I can't be around perfumes, colognes, scented oils, laundry ...etc. etc..... you get the idea, or it makes me physically sick, I get head aches bad ones. tense neck muscles etc...etc.

I can no longer put scented lotion on my skin because it absorbes in and makes me sick. I get head aches, stomach problems when I am around or in a room with any thing scented. Laundry dryer sheets are the worst, they can be smelled for blocks, go outside someday, anyday in the city and smell who is drying thier laundry.

Mens cologne, womens perfumes, any of the man made things that are scented anything affects my physical well being, which then in the long run affects my mental and spiritual well being.

More often than I can count I am in a room with at least one or two people who wear something scented, One thing affects me, but when you have two or three or more scented products then it is unbearable, now think of this in the terms that almost everyone wears a scented product everyday. So the inundation of scented products that physically change the compound of the air in any given space affects me.

I am not even safe in my own house. When company comes over they quite often have perfume and or cologne on, no matter how I ask and make people aware of my affliction, it doesn't matter, people don't mean to be insensitive, but they are. When I try to explain to anyone about my sensitivities they think I am blowing it up or making it up, and forget or ignore the way it makes me feel.

more to come.... which are worse, and how they affect me in the air.